Only the Beginning
by Jaded Starlight
Summary: Set after "Chosen". The First was destroyed... right? What if "Chosen" was only the beginning?
1. Prologue

Rating : PG-13, Rating may Change

Spoilers : Everything up to and including "Chosen".

Disclaimer : My shrink says I should be over the fact that I don't own BtVS by next century… I say she's an optimist.  

Summary : The First is gone… or is it?   

Feedback : Constructive criticism is always appreciated!  This is for _your _enjoyment.

****

**Only the Beginning**

By:

Jaded Starlight

Prologue 

She surveyed the immense crater where her home once stood as a small smile formed on her lips.  All her life, she had only wanted to be a normal girl, live what she perceived to be a normal life… but now, she wasn't so sure.  Being the "Chosen One" had been a burden; carried with it immense sacrifices and loss but it had also brought her unbelievable experiences and amazing friendships.  Slayers were awakening all over the world and she was no longer _the one_ but one of many.  It was the end of an era, the threshold of a new beginning.  It had come at a price, one that she had not been ready to pay.  Innocent girls who had been slayers for only minutes would never be able to take pride in the awesome feat they died to achieve.  They had lost Anya.  Andrew said that she went down fighting, saving his life.  She could see the pain in Xander's face, even as he joked and tried to boost moral.  He wasn't the only one who had lost someone they loved in the fight.  She had lost Spike.  She had been prepared to loose him when they fought Glory, and he had been prepared to die.  Why had she thought that his outlook had changed since then?  Somehow, she expected him to follow her out or to be standing behind her with that infamous grin saying, "Miss me, pet?"  Curiosity got the better of her and she took a quick glance over her shoulder.

Nothing.

He was down there, in dust among the rubble of what had once been a town.  He, along with Anya, and the rest of the innocents who deserved to stand at the edge of the crater and witness the breathtaking scene of what they had achieved.  It was both disturbing and beautiful.  Disturbing in that Sunnydale had turned to a crater of death.  Beautiful in that it marked a new beginning.  

Suddenly, everyone was blinded by a rich light that engulfing the entire area of the crater.  The survivors staggered backward and shielded their eyes as the shimmering gold rays stretched toward the heavens and grew brighter with each passing second until they had turned a brilliant white.  Finally, light vanished as suddenly as it had appeared.  

"What in the hell was that?" Faith asked.

"Is anyone hurt?" Giles asked.

"Hey, I guess being half blind is kind of useful." Xander commented.

Willow emitted forced laughter.  "You don't think it was the First, do you?"

"Guys… something's moving down there…" Dawn said, as she drew closer to the crater's edge.

Everyone gathered around the teenager and strained to understand what she had seen.  Sure enough, something below them was moving.  Pieces of rubble were being tossed aside, as if something were trying to unearth itself.

"We closed the hellmouth…  didn't we?" Willow asked.

"Maybe something got out." Faith said, readying herself to fight.

Finally, something emerged from beneath the demolished town.

"Spike?!"


	2. Chapter One

Rating : PG-13, Rating may Change

Spoilers : Everything up to and including "Chosen".

Disclaimer : My shrink says I should be over the fact that I don't own BtVS by next century… I say she's an optimist.  

Summary : The First is gone… or is it?   

Feedback : Constructive criticism is always appreciated!  This is for _your _enjoyment.

****

**Only the Beginning**

By:

Jaded Starlight

Chapter One 

_I drive away from the city   
Need to see the sky   
Drive away from the bad things   
That made me close my eyes   
Leave it all, in the past   
Drive away going nowhere fast   
Yeah, I got no where to go   
I wish I could go home   
To a life that looks like a TV show   
Wish I could see my television family waiting for me   
Where no one fights, no one screams   
No one lies, and no one leaves   
I don't care how the story ends   
I want to feel like I use to feel   
I want to feel like I'm living again_

_-Everclear_

"Bloody hell…" He muttered as he staggered to his feet.  His head throbbed with shooting pains that had been rivaled only by his chip.  He was covered in dust and sheetrock, his black leather duster now tinted gray.  He was surrounded by charred rubble, destroyed beyond recognition.  The destruction inscribed about him as far as he could see.  "Where's the burning fires and infinite torment?"

He looked up and to his disbelief, saw something that confused him even more.  He squinted and starred upward in utter perplexity.

Buffy ran down the side of the crater, praying that her mind wasn't playing a cruel joke on her.  Faith ran beside her, grabbing her arm and pulling Buffy to a stop.

"Where's the fire, B?"

"Spike's still alive… we've got to get him." 

"Spike _might_ be alive."

"Don't you see him?"

"Yeah, but he's standing outside in the sun." Faith said.

"So?"

"It could be the First, B."

Buffy paused to reflect on Faith's statement.  "But…"

"Look, I know he's a lot to you, but we've just gotta be careful.  There's still a chance that it's a trap."

Quickly, Buffy pulled herself together and advanced slowly toward what appeared to be Spike.  There was going to be hell to pay if it wasn't.

The vampire was still squinting at the sun, as if it were the only object in the universe.  Finally, the moment of truth.  Buffy slowly reached out toward the vampire whose gaze was fixed on the sky above them.  She felt her fingers touch the flesh of his palm and she emitted the breath she didn't know she had been holding.  She continued to intertwine her fingers in his and gently squeeze his hand, as a sign that he was not alone.  He felt her touch and was awakened by the scent that he recognized as Buffy.  His attention focused on the smiling blond standing before him.  

"Buffy… love," He said in awe as he reached out with his free hand to touch her face.  "Is this real?"

"I think so."

"How?  I felt it… the light.  Did we win?"

He was rambling.  Buffy smiled.  "Yeah.  We did."

"I'm supposed to be dead… well, more so than usual." He said.

            She laughed.  "You look good to me."

"I hate to interrupt you and lover boy, but I wanna get out of here before Giles drives the bus to Cleveland." Faith interjected.

"What's in Cleveland?" Spike asked.

"Another Hellmouth."

"No sodding way am I going to Cleveland."

Buffy laughed.  "Let's go."

The three of them climbed up the wall of the crater to meet the astonished faces of the remaining members of the Scooby gang.  

"Am I the only one who finds it a little weird that Spike's not burning?" Xander asked.

Dawn wordlessly approached the vampire standing before her.  She looked him over, as if he would disappear or change his form at any moment.  He brushed a lock of loose brown hair behind the teenager's ear with a small smile.  Immediately, she threw her arms around him.

"I was so scared, Spike." She said.

"It's ok, Bit." He replied.

He had won back her affection.  Buffy had been willing to forgive him, so Dawn knew that she could too.  Deep down, she had always believed that he could change… that he was indeed a good man.  What he had done was in the past and as far as she was concerned, he had repented in full.  

"I'm sorry." She said.

"For what?"

"Everything."

"…Is anyone else confused?" Xander asked.  "I mean it's the middle of the day… aren't you supposed to be all with the fire and burning-ness?"

"What I wanna know," Faith interrupted, "is how he's still alive after that."

"How the bleeding hell am I supposed to know?" He replied.

"Maybe it's the Shanshu prophecy…" Giles mused aloud.

"The what-su?"

"Shanshu.  It's the prophecy that foretells once a soulful vampire fulfills his destiny, he becomes human." Willow explained.

"Spike's human?" Xander asked.

"Not since I last checked." He replied.

Buffy checked the vampire's wrist for a pulse.  "Nope.  He's still dead."

"Then how do we know he's not the First in corporeal form?" Faith asked, still keeping a heavy level of suspicion.

Willow looked deep in thought.  Something about this sounded very familiar to her.  She searched her memory, places that since high school had remained untapped.  Finally, her mind unlocked freshman year World Civilizations and a look a pure epiphany settled over her features.  "The Phoenix." She said.

"I'm the one who's supposed to come up with the useless responses." Xander replied. 

"The legend." Giles clarified.

"The phoenix was a mythical bird, related to the Egyptian Sun God… it lived for five centuries until it came to the end of its life.  It built a nest and then after it's death, the bird ignited itself on fire and it was reborn." Willow explained.  "That must have been the light we saw!"

"Light?" Spike asked.

"Ah yes, the one that threatened to take my _other_ eye." Xander said.

"Think it's possible?" Faith asked.

"I wouldn't doubt it at this point." The watcher answered, "Though we should investigate it further,"

"We've got girls dying in the bus, Giles." Buffy interrupted.

"Yes… let's get them to a hospital." He said as they slowly began piling back into the bus, each taking one last nostalgic look at what remained of Sunnydale.

Faith sat quietly beside the former principal who sat propped against the bust window, sleeping.  He took it bad… she could tell from all the blood he had lost.  She vividly remembered what a stab wound felt like, and the consequences if improperly tended to.  The bus had been moving for a while before he showed signs of coming to.

"Where are we?" He asked groggily.

"Going to the hospital.  We should be there in a few." Faith answered.

"That's good.  I might make it after all." He joked.

Faith didn't find it funny.

"Sorry."

"We lost enough in this fight, I don't think we could stand to loose anyone else." She replied, starring ahead.

"Is that we or you?" He asked raising his hand, which was interlocked with the brunette Slayers.

She hadn't been aware that she'd taken his hand in the first place.  She must have done it when they loaded back onto the bus.  "Both I guess." 

Kennedy rested in Willows arms, exhausted from the fighting she'd done. Willow really couldn't blame her, and she seldom had the advantage of being the dominant character in their relationship so she was enjoying the simplicity of being the protector.  No, Kennedy would never replace Tara.  Willow had known that for a long time, but she'd also realized that Tara would have wanted her to move on with her life.  In a way, Kennedy was Tara's gift to her.  She never had to come to Sunnydale.  Kennedy could still be in another state, but she wasn't.  She had followed that instinct inside her and come, to Sunnydale and to Willow.  

Dawn and Xander sat together, joking and avoiding the topic of Anya at any cost.  Dawn had never really loved before, never like Xander had.  She could tell that beneath the goofy exterior, he had broken apart and was grieving for his lost love.  Xander had never been one for coping with grief in public.  Even when Buffy died, he hadn't shed all that many tears in public.  Now, she was sure that he had cried enough to fill rivers late at night in bed with Anya, who did her best to comfort him.  That comfort was gone.  Whatever steadfast grip he'd once had was severed with a simple slash of a sword.  Andrew sat in the seat next to them, alone.  She'd have kept him company if he hadn't looked so reserved in his thoughts.  She could tell what he was feeling.  It was exactly what she herself had felt two years ago, upon learning her origins.  He was struggling to find meaning and belonging.  Why he was alive and what that meant now.  Why he, of all people deserved to be saved.

The rest of the seats were occupied by wounded slayers, some asleep, some dreaming awake, others simply starring out the windows.  At the very back of the bus, two blond figures sat in each other's embrace where they found unparalleled solace.  They were wide-awake but said nothing.  They spoke with their eyes, conveying messages too deep and powerful for words.  

Finally, Giles parked the van in the empty lot of an abandoned hospital.  Apparently, the population surrounding Sunnydale had fled as well as the city itself.  Strangely, Giles liked it this way.  They had time to cope alone, without needing to explain how these injuries occurred and why there was a crater in what was once a town.  Those who had escaped relatively uninjured assisted those in dire need.  Wood was wheeled in on an abandoned stretcher, as were the few others incapable of walking.   Giles, Willow, Kennedy and Faith tended to those badly wounded while the other Scooby members offered their help to the cut and bruised of the group.

Willow sighed as she collapsed on an empty hospital bed, Kennedy by her side.  "We destroyed Sunnydale, conquered the First Evil, and now we're in a hospital.  What do you wanna do now?" She asked.

Kennedy smiled slyly, "Play doctor."

"You know, I've never been a fan of hospital food, but the green jell-o surprises me." Xander said as he, Dawn, Giles and Andrew sat staggered about a flight of stairs, each eating their own container of jell-o.

"Lime is definitely the best flavor." Andrew replied in the nervous manner he seemed to always have.

"I don't know… this strawberry stuff is pretty good." Dawn argued.

"I'm partial to orange." Giles explained.

"Anybody wanna play _I Spy_?" Andrew asked.

"Bloody hell…"

"I played it with Spike and-"

"You played _I Spy_ with Spike?" Dawn asked with laughter.

"Well… I _wanted _to… he didn't really.  He's good."

"That's 'cause he was around when the game was invented." Xander snorted.

"Are you still gonna hate him?" Dawn asked.

"Not as much as usual."

Dawn gave Xander a pleading look.

"Ok, ok.  I don't hate him.  But I'll still make the obligatory joke at his expense."

Dawn smiled.  "That's better."

"How you feel?" Faith asked as Wood came to.

"Like I've been stabbed."

"Not too much fun, is it?"

"You have no idea."

"Actually, I do." She replied, sitting beside him.

"You were stabbed?"

"Yeah."

"By who?"

"Buffy."

Wood gave her a shocked glance.

"See, that was after the whole turned-homicidal-tried-to-kill-her-boyfriend thing."

"Spike?"

"Angel."

"She's got a thing for vamps, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Which one you think she loves more?"

Faith thought a moment.  "I think she loves them both, but in different ways.  She'll always love Angel.  He was her first real thing, her first time, you know.  That stuff is for the people who marry their high school sweethearts' senior year.  Buffy's not like that.  I think Spike is more long term.  He's the guy you'd never expect to love."

"And what about you?"

"Me?  I don't love."

"C'mon Faith.  You've had to have loved _someone_."

Faith starred off into space.  "Nope."

"Anyone ever loved you."

The slayer remained silent.

"Guess I'd be the fist then."

Faith's head immediately turned to Wood, who leaned over and kissed her lips.  

"You promised you'd surprise me." She said.

"I don't think you're ready." He teased.

"I was _born_ ready."

Buffy lay silently in the bed they had assigned her.  Giles had said that she was lucky to be alive after what had happened to her.  She'd replied by saying dying three times would be tacky. Time seemed have slowed to a crawl or maybe it had stopped moving altogether.  So much had happened, all in a matter of hours.  They had rewritten history.  They had lost lives and saved them.  

The door creaked open slowly and in walked the blond vampire she thought she'd never see again.

"Hello Spike." She said.

"Sorry pet… didn't mean to wake you, I'll go."

"I was up." She replied.

"Oh.  Right then." He said.  "Better let you get some rest." 

"Stay with me." She asked.

"Ok." He said, taking a seat in a chair beside her bed.

Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes.  

"What?"

She inched herself over, making more room for his body and patted the empty space with her hand, inviting him to lay beside her.

Reluctantly, he removed his duster and laid it on the chair where he sat, and laid next to Buffy.  As soon as he was settled beside her, she curled her body to fit against his making herself comfortable.

"Pet… we need to talk." He began.

She saw uncertainty in his face and anticipation in his eyes.  Suddenly, she realized what was going on.

"I still love you."

A look of pure rapture registered on his face.  "God, pet," He said, brushing a lock of blond hair out of her face, "I've wanted to hear you say that for so long."

 "I know." She replied.  "I don't know what I would've done if you weren't here…" 

"You'd have moved on." He said reassuringly.

She nodded no, holding back tears from her eyes.

He held her closer, offering all the comfort he could, letting her know that he was there and they were together.

"I think mint gelatin takes the concept too far." The British man offered.

"No kidding… before you know it they'll make it turkey flavored."

Dawn and Giles simply looked at their compainion.

"What happened to the kid who agrees with me?" Xander asked, noticing that Andrew had failed to back his humor.

"I think he's out." Dawn said, motioning to the sleeping body of Andrew.

Xander nodded.

"The boy has a point." Giles replied.


	3. Chapter Two

Rating : PG-13, Rating may Change

Spoilers : Everything up to and including "Chosen".

Disclaimer : My shrink says I should be over the fact that I don't own BtVS by next century… I say she's an optimist.  

Summary : The First is gone… or is it?   

Feedback : Constructive criticism is always appreciated!  This is for _your _enjoyment.

****

**Only the Beginning**

By:

Jaded Starlight

Chapter Two 

_"Hello_

_I am your mind giving you someone to talk to_

_Hello."_

_-Evanescence_

They had left Andrew asleep were he was, and the three retired to bed.  The watcher lay awake, contemplating.  He had never been one for philosophy, but tonight it seemed to be the only subject on his mind.  Where were they supposed to go from here?  He knew long ago that his services would eventually become useless.  He had even left to assume his place in the real world, the one without vampires and demons but lawyers and politicians, though the differences were slim.  He had once believed that his place was back in England, and his situation in California was a temporary go-between.  Now England felt a world away and Sunnydale had become his home.  Not the town itself, the people he had grown attached to.  Now that his purpose had been served, he felt utterly useless.  He wasn't needed.  A significant part of his life had ended.  His reason for being was completed.  What now?  Seven years he had watched Buffy, Xander and Willow.  He'd watched them grow, change and mature… and in the case of Willow, try to destroy the world.  She didn't need his help now.  She was in control of herself.  Xander… well, he almost laughed to himself.  The only thing he had to offer was a sense of humor and knowledge of every military film ever created, and yet, he was indispensable.  And Buffy… he had taken her from a cheerleader to a hero.  She didn't need his advice or guidance, which was his ultimate goal a year ago.  Now that she had achieved complete independence, he missed being needed.  She had proved herself through the incident with Spike and Wood.  That had caused a huge rift between them, but he realized that she wasn't a child anymore.  Where did that leave him?  Alone.

Dawn paced the empty halls of the hospital where the remaining survivors slept.  She, however, could not seem to achieve rest.  They had all been through so much… in the actual three years she had been with them.  She used to complain about her abnormal lifestyle, how she hated he position as the slayer's little sister.  Now she craved the oddity of her old life.  These people had become her family.  What was going to happen to them?  She wasn't ready to let them go.  She quietly approached the door to the room where her sister had been resting.  She turned the knob silently and opened the door just enough for her to squeeze through without making any noise.  Buffy was asleep, a small smile on her face curled up against the blond vampire who had a look of pure contentment on his features.  It was a relief to see her sister happy.  Buffy really hadn't found solace since… had she ever, really?  She seemed happy with Riley, but even Dawn could tell that something was missing.  It was ironic how two people who tried to kill each other were now each other's sanctuary.  She felt a spark of happiness for Spike.  He had been the only one who understood her through the entire Glory fiasco.  He really loved Buffy.  She would never condone the attempted rape of her sister, but she would accept the change in him.  He really was a new man; the existence of his soul was evident in his actions.  He had atoned in her eyes, for his past actions.  That was a different man.  The one holding on to her sister would go to the ends of the earth for her.  He already had.  Contented, she left them to sleep and wandered back to her room.

Xander sat in a cheap hospital chair, his head in his hand choking on his sobs, careful not to wake anyone or draw any attention to his room.  He should have married her when he had the chance, he thought.  It seemed all too customary for someone close to him to die each year.  Sure, he knew that there was always a chance that he'd loose her, but he never took it seriously.  He never believed that she could die.  The only person that he'd ever intimately loved was lying dead beneath the rubble of his hometown.

"Honey… why are you crying?"

It couldn't be.  But it was.  Anya was standing there, walking toward him.  She looked unharmed and beautiful as he could ever remember.

"Anya…"

"I'm here, sweetie." She smiled.

"But how… how did you make it?"

"Do you mean me?" She said, "Or me?"

Xander froze in horror as Anya's form shifted into Spike.  "It's _you_!" was all he managed.

It laughed.  "Congratulations, mate."

Then, it hit him.  "Anya… she's…"

"Dead?"  It smiled.  "She was easy.  Gone in one quick slice."

"Get out." Xander said in a low, dangerous tone.

It laughed.  "Whatever you say, mate.  Just came by to give the lady a message."

"She's not interested."

It shifted from Spike into Buffy.  "Tell her thanks."

"…for what?"

It smiled.  "For setting me free."        


End file.
